Using precise language

Walt: engage our readers by using precise language in our writing.

This term room 1 literacy and I have been learning about how to use precise language in our writing to hook the reader in. What is precise language? Precise language is something that authors use when they write their book. Like for example:
Not Precise language- John was cold and he put his jacket on to keep him warm.
Precise Language-  John felt the cold chill slither up his spine. So he swiftly grabbed his cozy, warm and soft jacket and put it on as slow as a sloth.
Which one of these do you think are more intriguing and which one isn't. If you picked the second one then you are right. The second sentence has words that describe about the coldness. So this is my presentation about precise language.